The Craving for Community

 

December 2021    

    I moved to Knoxville, Tennessee almost four years ago. I remember my parents asking me the summer before we moved how I would feel about living here. At first, it seemed like a pretty cool deal since I didn't get to see my cousins Keegan and Kenna very often, so that meant I would get to see them a lot more. I would get to see my aunt and uncle more too. Nothing was set in stone then, and I thought nothing of it. I was going to be in my school's honors choir and I was going into my sophomore year of high school. To me, things were looking up, and I looked forward to my future in North Carolina.

Boy, was I wrong.  

    I found out in September, a few months after my parents asked me that question, that we were moving to Tennessee. Suddenly, living closer to my family and my dad's new job did not sound so appealing. I was terrified. Terrified of leaving the only school I had ever known, my friends whom I had known forever, and leaving somewhere I was comfortable. Once Thanksgiving break came around, my parents bought a house, and we were already looking at schools for my brothers and me. I was bitter, extremely bitter. 

    I was terrified, and that's putting it lightly. I had lived in North Carolina for almost my entire life and it was all I knew. Not to mention, it would be a huge culture shock to move from a private Christian school to a massive public school. I knew I had my family, but I wanted to stay with my people, my community. 

As you can tell, I am not the biggest fan of change. 

    This was a massive change for me. I rarely ever stepped out of my comfort zone when I lived in North Carolina. I liked being comfortable. I wanted to stay comfortable. The first few weeks of living in Tennessee were miserable for me. I struggled with finding people that were on the same level as those in North Carolina. However, my vision was selective, and I refused to make friends because why would I? These people weren't my real friends; they were back in North Carolina. 

    Enough with the pessimism. Fast forward three years and I have never been happier. Even though my North Carolina family will always have a place in my heart, they weren't the group to be with. My Tennessee family is. Now I'm not talking about my biological family, even though I love them to death. I am talking about the community I have formed around me. My chosen family, you could say.

My roommates Lily and Elise.

    College has changed my view of community and what it means to me, but that is obvious. I like to think I have met some amazing people this past year and I can't wait for the future with them. 

My friends Emery, Leah, Mike, and Lily. 

    High school is a little different since I have met various people. Some are not in my life anymore and it is still hard to cope with, but some are still here and dealing with my shenanigans. I am forever grateful for the community I had a year or two ago because it has formed who I am now. 

    That being said, community is important to me. To me, Community is a group of people who love you endlessly but also are not afraid to keep you in check. Community is having someone willing to stick by you despite your faults. Community is being able to love them when they feel unlovable. Community is being able to go on a spontaneous trip across town without hesitation. Community is being able to rest, but also play.  Community is the allowance to be vulnerable and comfortable.

Community is something that I crave. Rather, it was something that I craved. 

    I got a message from someone I hadn't heard from in a while, and it made me realize that not many people have the same support system as me. I think that some haven't found theirs yet or they think they have.

 I realized that I am incredibly blessed.

    I am eternally grateful for how life guided me to the people I have met in Tennessee. I have struggled with loving Tennessee for a while, but now I can finally say that I love these mountains. I love the south a little bit more than a few years ago. I love where I work and the community there. I love the church I first went to and the new church I go to. I love the whacky trucks I see. I love the numerous coffee shops. I love my community. 

    

   I hate being all sappy, but that is what this blog is for. There has been a constant theme of finding that support system and finding that one thing that you can rely on in this blog recently. It is my hope that despite the chaos of this world that those reading have found their community or one day do find it. Community is something that is massively important and I think that without it, a person is lost. So for those still searching, keep your head up and do not forget what is most important to you. Most importantly, don't forget your standards, who you are, and who you hope to be.