Morning Time by Zach Bryan

Explicit warning! We are all adults, no big deal, but it is censored

    If you know me, you know that Zach Bryan has been one of my favorite artists since what feels like the beginning of time. His most famous album "American Heartbreak" was my most played album of 2022. Bryan's music is hard to put words to and I feel like his music speaks for itself. He writes from the soul and in my opinion, he writes these songs for people like me. People who believe that words have a considerable impact than most think. Bryan's music is very poetic and has guided me through times of, ironically enough, heartbreak. It is only fitting because this album came out around a year ago and has changed my life for the better. 

    When I worked in Knoxville, Tennessee, I would spend most of my mornings and afternoons working. My old manager would play Zach Bryan almost every other morning. I would walk in to see the same guys and hear the same few albums blasting through the speakers every morning at the restaurant. They would say good morning and sometimes they would offer a cup of cold brew they made earlier. With Zach Bryan in the background of most of my 2022 summer mornings, it's hard to not include his music in this series

    I am in the same spot I was last summer and ironically it was this exact date or month. I am and was learning my priorities and healing every day. Time is a harsh teacher, and this song gave me the right amount of distraction. 

    The song "Morning Time" discusses a melancholy take on the saying "light of my life". Although it sounds like a love song, I think it is also a reflection on yourself and how that person impacts you. The song starts like you are waking up, either by yourself or with the one that is your light. It is a tricky thing for me to decide which side it is. I think that not only does this song takes love to a different level, but it also shows a different take on life after love. I lived vicariously through this song in some areas of my life, and I still do. 

    Bryan sings in two different tones in this song and I think it could relate to the anger a person could feel when it comes to love that is one-sided or love that is not there at all. The chorus says,

"Cause when you go down hard, you come up swinging 

I f***ng hate love, but I love you in the evenings.

I swore you'd be here when I finally woke

I love you in the evenings, but I f***ing hate high hopes," 

    On many occasions, I lived this chorus. The constant ups and downs of not knowing if the person you knew you loved would be there in the morning after you spent time together. At the end of it all it leaves you angry like Bryan is when he is singing it. I have had more moments like this than I would have liked. 

    I hate the concept of love at this moment and the way I love others. I hate it so much because it can lead to those high hopes that Bryan mentions hating so much. I think I grew out of the idea that love is easy and that it can lead to greater endings. The past has ruined the moments I used to view as love. In reality, I think I was used, but not in the way I expected. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the steps I have taken, but I have grown from it, nonetheless. 

    It is hard to accept the things some see as faults or things that are difficult for them to love. I love hard and without conditions. I am extremely loyal, and, on many occasions, I think that I have been taken advantage of because of this. It hurts me on a whole other level. Because of this, it is hard to let go of others that leave me because I worked so hard to love and care for that person despite their faults. However hard I work, in reality, it has rarely been reciprocated. So, when Zach Bryan says, 

"Cutting grass for cash and gasoline to prove I'm worth your touch and time

The way a woman's hands are warfare to a wise man's worn-out ways

The way I figured I was worthless when I lost a love that should've stayed," 

I was punched in the gut, and it was hard to recover.

    Despite the anger and sadness, there is also acceptance. Bryan in my eyes by the end of the song accepts the love he lost or found the one that is truly meant for him. In light of the choices I made, even though they ended up leaving me sad and bitter, they have made me more grateful for a new day or in this case the morning time.

    I used to hate waking up earlier than 10 o'clock in the morning. Now I hate waking up later than 10 o'clock in the morning. I love the peace of being up at 5 A.M for my job. I love watching my morning begin while I am sitting on the porch with coffee in my hand. Bryan and I have the same mindset when it comes to the morning. It is difficult to start, but isn't it beautiful? 

    That is the funny part of the journey that we all live in. The start of the problem feels like forever, but right when you see the sun peak over the trees, that bitterness or sadness suddenly disappears. The sorrow you have goes away day by day as soon as you realize that each new day is as beautiful as the last. It is hard to remember, right? I do not want to sound condescending or cliche, but it has been a lesson I have been teaching myself. 

    My worth was never within a few months. It is 100% okay that I love just as hard as I did three years ago or three months ago. Some do not get it or choose to not understand you and the things you want. Some are even intimidated by others' ambitions, and some put you in a corner to feel that your passions are not worthy of their time. It could simply be that some do not want to create room for growth under all that comfort and they would rather stay in their limited mindset. It is hard to move away from something or someone that used to be your home and comfort. I am speaking from experience when I say that it was good at the moment, but it hindered my growth. 

    Growth obviously helps you move from one place to another. However, when you find an obstacle in the way of this growth, it can be deceiving. The obstacle in your way could be a selfish want that may seem like a need. It could be your comfort zone not allowing you to step out into the world. It could even be a person who at that point in time felt right for you. Growth is meant to run free without limitations, but I lost sight of it just like many have.

    When that morning sun shines into your eyes it can be alarming and downright awful to deal with. However, once you take it slow and realize that it's the sign of a new day stepping into that growth, is not so bad. Zach Bryan's music has given me the idea that the little pleasures in life help you grow out of what is not serving you anymore. Bryan says as a closing note to his song,

"You in the morning time 

Reminds me that each day is mine.

To be grateful for the rising sun 

Sneaking through the window blind.

The way you tell me it's alright 

The past has passed and right now's arrived.

You in the morning time makes me glad I'm still alive."

    The little things such as words of encouragement, a nice customer at work, buying yourself flowers, or coffee that just hit the spot have taught me to appreciate that taking life at a slower pace is better. Learn to give yourself patience even when you do not think you deserve it. Teach yourself that the things you need to feel loved are not too much, but also give yourself the love you wish to receive from others as well.